Jiu Jitsu and Toxic Masculinity

Somebody had to write about it someday.

In a sport where everyone thinks of themselves as alpha, a warrior, or compares themselves to samurai, Vikings, and whatnot, toxic masculinity has carefully carved up its suitors on the mats. But what exactly is toxic masculinity? Toxic masculinity refers to a set of cultural norms and behaviors associated with masculinity that are harmful to both men and society. These norms emphasize traits such as emotional suppression, dominance, aggression, and an overemphasis on self-reliance, often to the detriment of personal well-being and relationships.

Here are some key aspects:

Emotional Suppression: Toxic masculinity often dictates that men should not express vulnerability or emotions such as sadness, fear, or empathy. This can lead to mental health issues, including depression and anxiety, as men may feel unable to seek help or express their feelings.

Aggression and Dominance: It promotes the idea that men should be dominant, assertive, and in control, often valuing physical strength and aggression over cooperation and understanding. This can result in violent behavior and unhealthy relationships.

Self-Reliance: There is a strong emphasis on independence and self-sufficiency, discouraging men from seeking support or admitting they need help. This can lead to isolation and a lack of social support networks.

Devaluation of Women: Toxic masculinity can perpetuate misogynistic attitudes, where traits and behaviors associated with femininity are seen as inferior. This contributes to gender inequality and can foster environments that tolerate or even encourage sexism and discrimination against women.

Homophobia and Transphobia: It often includes rigid ideas about sexuality and gender, leading to the stigmatization of men who do not conform to traditional masculine roles, as well as hostility towards LGBTQ+ individuals.

The recent spectacle involving one Gordon Ryan has once again flashed a humongous light on the dirt that often gets swept under the rugs. It has once again showcased, quite clearly, that toxic masculinity bleeds through every strata of martial arts, let alone our society. But Ryan’s comments are just an addition to a series of toxic masculinity traits that have been displayed in the sport since its inception. Jake Shields and his kind have long planted their battle flags in favor of toxic masculinity, and not only planted, they have religiously fought to prove that masculinity can only be practiced if it is toxic. There are also world champions who were named in rape cases and harassment lawsuits. All in all, Jiu Jitsu is not only a hugely sexist sport but also a sport highly enamored with alpha male egos, and dotted all over with toxic masculinity.

The conundrum is that if Jiu-Jitsu is a sport where the smaller person can technically better a bigger person and a technically competent weak man can subdue a strong man, then why is it that this false presumption of ‘being weak’ is such a problem, isn’t that the ethos of our sport? The weak beats the strong? On the contrary, opening up and talking about not only mental health but topics ranging from sexism in our sport to rampant drug use, shows that you have character and integrity. Talking about your struggles is one of the toughest things that people can do. Sharing your story, when you know that most people will perceive you differently, with their biased outlooks, their stigma, and taboos all mixing down to one hateful gaze that gives you the creeps, requires guts, mental fortitude, grit, strength, and courage and that is something that people like Gordon Ryan would probably never have.

To say that Mr. Ryan embodies toxic masculinity is also wrong. He is only a product of our society and it is the components of our society, that make up the Jiu-Jitsu community. The problem however lies when people in the Jiu-Jitsu community start transmitting opinions and views that are radically weaponized to fit a certain stereotype of toxic masculinity. For example, how many times have we heard the analogy of two-stripe white belts comparing themselves to human weapons? Or how many times have we heard that we should continue to train despite our injury - mental or physical? And how many times have we heard that as a man you have to be tough, to show no emotions, to not be weak, to be strong at all times? I can go on and on..

However, it is also the social media algorithm these days with its soft marketing that promotes subconsciously toxic traits of masculinity. For example, my personal favorite is reels that show how men should be men (whatever that means) and take inspiration from men who lived a few hundred years ago, like the Vikings or Mongols. Society would do well not to be inspired by these sinister and obnoxious men who were rapists, killers, murderers, and looters. Jordan Peterson and his merry gang of wannabes have also done no favors, in fact, they have spoiled the broth even more by adding a pinch of '10 dollar words’ to it, normalizing sexist and toxic views. Furthermore, man for all its strengths is one of the weakest animals in the ecosystem. The strength of human beings lies in their brains and not their brawn. So comparing yourself to a lone wolf or a lion is not just foolhardy but laughable. You are a human being, and you should act like one.

Every 40 seconds someone commits suicide and studies have shown that it is men who die due to it the most. Not only that, studies have also shown that men are most affected when it comes to mental illness. Some might think that toxic masculinity is important because it gives men a free pass to treat women like shit (there are entire subreddits and IG pages dedicated to how you can learn to be a man; where more often than not, the content sexualizes and hugely objectifies woman), however, toxic masculinity works adversely and it affects in all ways and forms, men. It is a toxic construct that affects men so much that it could lead them to suicide. Toxic masculinity is the problem that all men should fight against, it robs us of what it truly means to be a human being. In Jiu-Jitsu, it has no place, just like sexism.